Insomnia
by Cayster
Summary: Insomnia has shadowed Peyton ever since her fight with Brooke and Lucas is the only one who seems to notice. Leyton. One shot.


"Insomnia" by Caley, a.k.a. Cayster

DISCLAIMER: I do not own "One Tree Hill" or its characters. I did not profit from this piece of fanfiction.

Summary: Insomnia has shadowed Peyton ever since her fight with Brooke and Lucas is the only one who seems to notice. Leyton. One-shot.

Author's Notes: I was going to call this piece "Climbing Up the Walls" since "Climbing Up the Walls" by Radiohead inspired it. This fic is a little obscure and abstract at some points; I'm sure you'll notice where. I decided not to call it that because it probably would've turned a lot of people away from this piece because it's different. Actually, this entire idea has never been endeavored before… at least without my knowledge of it occurring. Anyways, I'll shut up and wish you happy reading!

XXXXXXX

The silver moon is an ever present silhouette against her painted walls. It's a seen that she's used to seeing since Brooke broke their friendship off. Peyton didn't think it would be this traumatic—it is the second time she's done this after all—this time. But it was. She lost her best friend since childhood. Her only friend who knew her first mom; her only friend what she was like before the accident; her only friend that knew what a genuine smile looked like on her face before everything spiraled chaotically out of control. Brooke never left before….

The same thought bounces through her brain again and again as if she was playing Pong against herself. Back and forth. Back and forth with that mundane video game sound that was annoying her to death.

Huffing, Peyton throws her covers off of her and lets her feet hit the cool wooden floor of her bedroom. It was a routine she had gotten used to since Brooke's slapping rampage stalked out of her room. Peyton lightly joked that sleep probably went with her when she left. It's been four days now. 96 hours. 5760 minutes. Hell, she didn't feel like coming up with seconds.

Getting up from her bed finally, Peyton walks slowly over to her computer, which turned into her biggest distraction at nights. On the computer she didn't have to think of sleep, think of Brooke, or think of what her heart truly wanted, which was Lucas. Ever since Lucas walked into the wild popular group's circle nothing was the same and everything suddenly became complicated. How one fickle teenage boy could do that blew Peyton's mind as if she was watching "Pulp Fiction" for the first time.

Practically on autopilot she clicked onto her myspace to see if anyone else was on. Of course there were a few stragglers every night (people who usually slept in class the next day), but usually no one close to her was ever on, so that alleviated any questions for her to answer. Though tonight was different: Lucas was on.

"Damn it," Peyton hissed to herself as she grabbed her _Juturna_ vinyl by Circa Survive and placed it respectfully on her turntable. "Act Appalled" soon crooned through her lyrics matching her feelings exactly at that moment.

Almost as soon as the first verse was through, Lucas commented her on her myspace.

"Long time, no chat," his comment expressed with a stupid smiley face at the end of it. Peyton guessed that he was trying to make the situation lighter; she knew that he understood why they hadn't spoken for awhile. Brooke was the simple answer.

Peyton clicked on his goofy picture of his eyes peering over an open book (much like the bookworm he was from their junior year). Ever since he gave up his spot to Skillz because of his HCM condition, he went back to being the reserved and charming guy she fell for at the beginning of the basketball season just a little over a year ago. Lucas started quoting Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, Orwell, and Dickens like he used to in answering a question. Not that he didn't still do that when he was on the basketball team— he just changed once Brooke came into the picture, especially after they started dating.

She scrolled down quickly and clicked to comment him back.

"Yeah, no kidding," she typed quickly before pausing to write more. "I suppose that's because I've been keeping a safe distance so I wouldn't be burned at the stake in front of the entire school by a certain someone." Peyton smirked at that, debating whether to delete that addition or keep it for kicks knowing full well that Brooke probably checked Lucas' myspace daily to see if she and Lucas were talking to one another. But since she was sleep deprived and feeling a little ballsy (perhaps that was Circa Survive's fault), Peyton clicked submit to make the scandalous comment official.

Not one minute later Lucas replied back to her.

"I see you still have your signature sarcasm about you!" Peyton imagined Lucas smiling that goofy smile he flashes when something humors him. "But I suppose you have a point nonetheless—she has been staring daggers at you every time you're within a small proximity of her or me." By this time, Peyton guessed that that smile would have turned into a bitter one… much like hers did. "How have you been doing since you two had a falling out anyways?"

Going back to his site, she commented back:

"I'm doing okay."

Peyton lied. It wasn't the first time she lied to someone about the Brooke situation. Haley, Nathan, Karen, acquaintances, classmates, even Whitey were on the list of the lied to.

Quicker than his comment last time, Lucas replied, "Really… then why are you up at this godforsaken time? You're definitely not the night owl you used to be when you were extra broody last year."

Smirking, Peyton knew better than to lie to Lucas. He always could tell when she was and when she was telling the truth. Usually he called her out on it, but there was a few times when he chose to let her be. Obviously, this wasn't one of those precious moments.

But with the sharp wits Peyton was bestowed with at birth, she decided not to answer the question at all. "I suppose I could ask you the same thing, but then you would just quote an obscure author."

Her cell phone began to light up and vibrate against her desk all of a sudden. Peyton didn't have to look at the screen to know who it was… Lucas.

"Funny." Lucas replied at Peyton's half-teasing, half-sarcastic reply.

Laughing a little, Peyton said, "I know, I crack myself up half of the time."

"I see," he said—in what she pictured—with a smile on his face. "So," his tone changing to a serious one, "what's the real reason you're up tonight getting cabin fever?"

Biting her bottom lip, Peyton leaned all the way back in her chair. She didn't want to answer the question yet she knew Lucas wasn't going to let it slide by. If he had to, she knew that he'd rush on over and stare at her piercingly until she spilled the oh so awaited beans. Peyton weighed her options quickly. But with the ominous latter looming about in her mind, she chose to just tell. Why the heck did she need to hide anything from him to begin with? It was practically all revolving around their ever present love triangle.

"Okay, I admit that my best friend hating me isn't going over well with me." Peyton answered with complete veracity. After taking a beat, she added, "But what it's for, I guess I can take it."

Lucas didn't respond back. All Peyton heard on the receiver was silence, silence, and more silence. Yes, reserved-Lucas was definitely back and kicking! Damn.

After almost a minute of quiet contemplation, Lucas resumed the conversation. "This time last year, nothing would cause you to sever your ties with Brooke… I know full well." Peyton knew what he was talking about. After all, she ended their 'adulterous' relationship of sorts just so she could keep Brooke as a best friend. "So," Lucas continued, "what on earth would make you do it this time?"

Peyton couldn't believe Lucas could be so blind and ignorant. Did he just up and forget about her feelings for him? Could he not hear the genuine sincerity in her voice when she said, "I love you too," in that damned reenactment? When she got shot, did he think she went on a kissing rampage because she was delusional? WHAT THE HELL!

Baffled and slightly hurt, Peyton whispered, "I got to go, bye," and clicked to end the phone call and then turned her cell off completely so she wouldn't have to deal with him calling back.

Luckily, Lucas left her alone… at least for that night.

XXXXXXXX

_The next day at school…_

Lovely. Just pure bliss. Yippee.

Yeah, Peyton was enthused all right with being at school. Eight hours of complete and utter hell made her a happy camper. She felt like skipping, but her body willed her to go to the last place she wanted to be. Peyton had already missed too many days to skip anymore; her principal made her aware of how she was endangering her diploma and missing anymore might cause her to repeat by default. Ergo, Peyton was there. Not bright and not shining, but present nonetheless.

Everything was a blur. People walked by her and she walked by people not really hearing or seeing them. All she kept to was minding her own business and blocking everyone else's out. She didn't want to think or feel today. She wanted numbness. She wanted invisibility. Those two feelings were quite opposite of what she wanted last year. Those two feelings were what she felt a year ago. What she wouldn't give to have those two feelings back.

Even though she was hazy, Peyton was still deft enough to avoid all of her common routes, niches, and friends. She did though have a close encounter with Brooke, but she would rather run into her and get the third degree than into Lucas who would want her to tell him what caused the infringement on her friendship with Brooke. She felt as if the building was on lockdown again and she was trying to avoid a shooter… only the shooter this time being her rescuer.

Slowly becoming more and more complacent, Peyton started getting ballsy like she had on myspace with Lucas. Insomnia was a rush and a drag at the same time… it was her insubordinate drug of neurology (definitely not of choice). So there she was, walking timelessly through the hallways of the school without analyzing anymore routes or possible run-ins with anyone. A game… that was what it was. An adrenaline rush… that was it in stored.

Nothing happened though. She didn't to a crossing with Lucas or Brooke or even one of the gang. Nope. Not one single person that she could remotely care to a head with.

School passed by and waved before she knew it and Peyton was finally free to endure the isolated encampment of her home.

XXXXXXX

_Climbing up the walls…_

Dusk fell upon the sky. Reds and oranges cascaded into her already dark bedroom.

Peyton was dreading the long night ahead. She wasn't even going to try and fall asleep… it was useless and in vain. To top it all off, now she had to worry and mull over Lucas not just Brooke.

Resorting to old habits, Peyton blared her music. Blaring Mi Capitan was definitely a trip of sorts. It was mellow, it was somber, it was… just what she needed.

Just as the climax is reached in "Hammer and Sickle," Peyton sees everything that has happened in the past few days flash through her mind. The endless downpour of tears, the ringing sound she got when Brooke slapped her, the emotionless feeling she's felt ever since insomnia kicked in, finally, the bitter taste she got in her mouth when Lucas didn't get that she was _still_ in love with him… that she would sacrifice her prized friendship with Brooke for another chance with him.

Creeping out of the shadows of her room, Peyton walked towards her window and watch the sun's slow descent. It was really brilliant. How something so far away could make her feel warm; how it could lighten a room; how it could give her solace when her music didn't.

Just then her music was turned down, making Peyton whip around quickly to find Lucas with his had on the dial. Smiling that goofy, unsure smile he flashed when he was trying to say hi without actually saying it.

"I looked for you at school, but you acted like Houdini every time I tried to catch up to you." Lucas said trying to make the situation less tense because it was as thick as it could get.

Peyton though didn't feel like playing along, so she looked back outside her window at the setting sun with indifference lying heavily upon her brow. "Why are you here?" She asked in a mixture of resentment and hurt.

Huffing before answering, Lucas retorted, "C'mon Peyt! I came over to apologize for what ever I said last night to set you off."

Feeling exasperated and worn out, Peyton looked back at Lucas throwing him a venomous glare. "What do you mean 'what ever,' Luke?" She didn't understand how he could be so reasonable and wise yet not know what he did. Whoever said men and women were from different planets (figuratively of course), was so incredibly right.

"Damn it, Peyton—I don't know!" Lucas exclaimed. After a few seconds, he regained his composure. "Look, I didn't come over here to piss you off more with—I guess—my ignorance. I'm not getting a kick out of this, y'know." Walking towards her now, his voice took on a tone of complete sincerity and seriousness. "I don't want to stay up the entire night reanalyzing and rethinking all of this," motioning between Peyton and himself, "this, this…"

Peyton felt intrigued to what Lucas thought was between them. Letting her curiosity get the best of her, Peyton asked barely above a whisper, "What Lucas?"

"This confusing, unspoken understanding of our feelings," Lucas responded with his eyes dancing for reasons unbeknownst to Peyton. His blue eyes were just vibrant—they were captivating.

"They haven't gone away, Peyt," he continued softly, "even though I tried to forget about us, my heart overwhelmed my damn logical side."

Surprised and silenced, Peyton couldn't put a straight sentence together in her mind. She hadn't expected Lucas to be so forthcoming with her… at least not this quickly.

Taking her silence for disappointment and disapproval, Lucas began to nod slowly. "I-I understand," he said hoarsely.

He started to turn to make his exit, but Peyton grabbed his forearm bringing Lucas back to face her. Peyton could feel the adrenaline in her body make its course because of what she knew what she was about to do. Lucas just stared at her with baffled discouragement unaware of what she was wanting to do finally… after so long.

Placing a hand behind his neck, Peyton leisurely brought Lucas down into probably the most intoxicating kiss of her life. An explosion of happiness bloomed in Peyton's heart jolting her back to the living, the feeling, and the loving.

Finally breaking apart because of the lack of oxygen, Peyton gazed into Lucas' truth-bearing eyes. She saw passion that she forgot existed in them after they kissed or whispered "I love you" to one another not so long ago. An ecstatic smile played across her lips, one that she didn't have to fake to get through the day.

"God, I've missed that smile." Lucas whispered before he kissed her forehead and bringing her into a loving embrace.

XXXXXXX

_When the sun came up, we were sleeping in…_

Waking up from the deepest sleep she had ever slept, Peyton felt rested and content. Perhaps it was because it had been so long since she slept… or perhaps it was waking up in the love of her life's arms? Leaning more towards the latter, Peyton smiled happily as she snuggled her face against his strong, protective chest.

"Good morning, beautiful," Lucas whispered sleepily while smiling blissfully himself.

Giving him a good morning kiss, Peyton pulled back and replied, "Good morning, Rake Boy."

Laughing now, Lucas finally opened his tired eyes. His blue eyes were as bright and endearing as ever to Peyton. "Such a cute pet name… too bad your _father_ came up with it."

"So what are you saying?" Peyton teased. "Just because my dad came up with it, it detracts the affection?"

"Mmm," Lucas mumbled in thought, "slightly."

Peyton laughed at this. She knew a mischievous gleam probably took place in her hazel eyes by this point. "How about the name Princess Sophia?"

"Hell no, we're not going to do the whole 'How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days' naming fiasco!" Lucas exclaimed, being jerked fully awake now.

"Aw, I was really dead set on that one," Peyton joked playing with Lucas' hands.

Lucas remained silent for a moment, which caught Peyton's giddy attention, just gazing at her. Finally, he whispered sweetly, "I love you, Peyton."

Hearing the words spoke so genuinely to her caused her heart to skip a beat. Smiling from ear to ear now, Peyton replied, "I love you too, Lucas."

Enjoying the comforts of being in love, Peyton forgot all about her recent case of insomnia. I guess when you're in love nothing else matters. Not heartache. Not the detachment of a best friend. Not even sleep deprivation. Perhaps love cured all of those things? Someone once proclaimed that love conquered all… maybe they weren't wrong after all.

XXXXXX

Author's notes: Gosh, this story was written in a span of like five days. Every now and then I would add a bit here and a bit there. I hope you all liked it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It's definitely something different… different from what I've ever written at least.

Anyways, I want to thank you all for taking the time to read this! I'm truly grateful of that. Please drop me a comment on what you thought—I love knowing what you all think regardless of compliment or criticism. Everything and anything is welcome.

"_When the sun came up, we were sleeping in" _is a lyric from "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run.

"_Climbing up the walls"_ is of course a Radiohead song.

I just wanted to give credit where credit is due.

Thanks to Circa Survive, Hot Hot Heat, Radiohead, Thom Yorke, Eisley, Hellogoodbye, Mi Capitan, Luxury, and Mae for giving me inspiration at various points throughout the story. (That's probably awkward to read since those bands/band members will probably never know I thanked them for being my muses.) Speaking of muses, thanks to Muse as well.

Again, I want to express my gratitude to ya'll. I love writing! You all have made my experience with writing a million times better than when I used to write stories in my journal. You guys make my fanfiction so much more enjoyable. For that, I'm very grateful.


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